I was asked to speak on the topic of influence for a group of rising leaders at work last week. I was appreciative for the experience and for the attention to my story.

I learned so much from this reflection and from the conversations that this prompted after my presentation.

The leaders felt empowered to reflect on opportunities and experiences to influence others in their role, as well as within their personal lives.

My ExpeRience

I was 18 when I met my mentor, Melissa.

We were working in a hospital in downtown Baltimore and as I introduced myself, she asked me “What are you, 12?”  I proudly responded that I was 18 and I am a brand-new nurse.

I was eager to learn but also afraid that I would do something wrong and potentially make a mistake, cause harm to a patient, or not succeed. 

I studied nursing to help others and heal people.  I lacked the skill set but had the required knowledge to perform the job.

Melissa was very kind and welcoming to me, and I was paired up to train with Mary Ellen, who had been a nurse for more than 40-something years. 

Mary Ellen was what we would call an old-school nurse.  She was gentle, kind, thorough and patient.  She provided everyone with full, head-to-toe primary care, despite how busy things were. 

Mary Ellen was also fast.  She was zooming from one task to the next, and if I blinked my eyes, I would lose sight of her. When I asked one of the supervisors if they saw Mary Ellen, I received a rude answer back “It’s YOUR job to keep track of her, not mine.” 

There were also some not-so-nice nurses that worked the night shift particularly.  When I didn’t know something, instead of teaching me or showing me, they would make statements about where I got my education, how stupid I was, and how they are letting “babies” be nurses.

Melissa and I worked together for a few years, and she was always available to help, teach, or support.  She encouraged me to attend college when I didn’t even know that was an option for me. She took me under her wing and taught me so many things, not just clinically and professionally, but in many personal situations as well.

Melissa was friendly, smart, approachable and had an open-door policy.  We had gone our separate ways and lost touch with each other, connecting maybe once or twice a year.

What Goes around…

One day, about 12 years ago, she called me and asked if I wanted a position as an Assistant Director of Nursing.  I was, again, afraid.  Am I qualified? Do I have what it takes? Can I lead others?  Melissa assured me that she would never have called me if she didn’t believe in me. She remembered my character and decided she could teach the skills that I may not have developed as of yet.

I didn’t interview well with Melissa’s supervisor, who was hesitant to hire me.  Melissa went to bat for me and said that she knows this will work out well. I was offered and took the job and, again, my mentor was just as supportive, if not more so, than I remember. 

We had great successes in our team, and I learned a lot about regulation, leadership, organization, and professional development. 

Now I think about those influences.  Melissa and Mary Ellen helped me to start and advance my career. Had I listened to the other nurses who were rude and not helpful, things could have been a lot different.

What if I decided I couldn’t hack it because they weren’t supportive? What if I thought that their behavior was normal? What if I became just as rude and snippy as they were? 

What if Melissa didn’t encourage my growth? What if Mary Ellen wasn’t supportive in training “a baby nurse?”

…Comes Around

I learned from Melissa and Mary Ellen what kind of person, and nurse I wanted to be.  I had some scary, non-approachable nursing instructors and I vowed to never be like that. 

I want to be kind, gentle and patient in my teaching and leadership, ensuring everyone feels supported, not afraid or alone. Melissa taught me patience, accountability, and humility. She also taught me to be confident and to stand up for myself.

Melissa also had the power to influence her manager.  Her manager did not want to hire me initially, but Melissa went at it with confidence and credibility.  She has not steered her manager wrong before, so why would this time be different? 

So how did Melissa earn that respect from her manager?  They had developed a trustworthy relationship and Melissa had a solid reputation.  It was also about delivery.  Imagine she said to her manager “YOU WILL HIRE HER.”  Yeah… I’m sure that would not go very well….

What is Influence?

Let’s think about influence.  What is influence?

INFLUENCE implies a force that brings about a change according to Webster’s Dictionary.

Think back 1 year ago, 5 years ago. 10 years ago.  When have you been influenced?  Social media, reviews? Commercials? Advertisements?  Word of mouth?  Family? Friends?

Was it a positive or negative influence?   When you think of the word influence, does your mind go towards a negative or positive feeling? 

When have you been influenced in your career?  Think back again… 1 year, 5 years, 10 years. Are you the exact same person you were in the past? What has caused that change?

Growing as an Influencer

We are all learning, growing and developing ourselves. Regardless of what other people think or say about it, we only need to satisfy ourselves in development so that we feel confident and fulfilled.

Have you developed a relationship with a mentor?  Have you served as a mentor to someone else?

Now, let’s think about your personal mission or your work mission.

And what about our values? And the values of those that we surround ourselves with?

Values and principles guide our interactions, influence our relationships, and inspire us.

Why we Influence

There we go, with that word “influence” again.  It is in so much of what we do and how we do it.

We should be empowering others and lifting each other up. 

By being influential, this gives you opportunities to be recognized and trusted.

Trust builds relationships, which in turn empowers others to take your advice, to learn from you and in turn, influence others. And… you may be surprised at what you learn along the way.

This influence can help you in your career goals and your personal growth. 

With this influence comes a power, and not in a “I rule the world” power, but a positive, uplifting power to mentor and motivate others to perform well. 

Be influential and allow others to positively influence you!